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“In the mind of a child during his first visit to the pediatrician”

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What follows is live commentary of the boy’s mind through the visit]

Dam…why the hell is sticky water coming out of my nose. Plus I’m feelin kinda hot. This is gotta be the worst thing that has happened to me in my one year of existence.

I wonder how the nose thing tastes….hmmm??…..lets try.

Yuck, yuck, yuck…arggg…this tastes just as bad is the cool brown thing I found running around the room last month.

IN SOME CULTURES, I'M A DELICASY !!

Here comes mom, she’ll make this better, she always does.

Hey, WTF….why is she dressing me up.???….Crap is coming out of my nose and she wants to show me off to her friends again ?? She’s demented.

Here we go out the house.

Where is she taking me?? I’ve never been by this way before. Oh…she’s turned, and going to that big house. I wonder what’s in there.

TEMPLE OF DOOM

Hey, this place is full of people like me. I think this is going to be fun. Look at all the stuff this place has to play with. My room suck’s compared to this.

Huh, why is that kid coming out that door crying? What a bloody cry baby. I feel shameful when my kind of people cry for no reason. It’s a powerful skill. Mom always gives me what I want when I cry. It should be used smartly. Anyways..

Hey, who’s this lady in white? Why is looking at me??

Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..the bitch, the bitch pinched my cheek….and she’s smiling at me now…..oh why, oh why did she do that.

BITCH WHO PINCHES CHEEKS

Hey…we are going in that room where that kid came out crying. Where is mom taking me with the white bitch.

Oh…its just another room with funny looking stuff and a fat man sitting on the table.

Mom’s talking to that man for a long time now. I’m burning up and that sticky shit is still coming out my nose and mom is chatting. This is gross parental negligence you know. I’m catching her as tight as I can.

That dude’s funny you know. He’s got some black rope around his neck. Psycho fashion statement??

ALL I NEED NOW IS A RAMP TO WALK

Hey, he’s looking at me now……gosh, he’s staring so much at me….he’s goona say some something….

“Hello there baby, Ding dong ding dong Tick tock tick tock tick…”

Huh…..freak…why is he making all those funny noises…dam retarded fool. First the black rope, and now this gibberish.

Hey, he’s catching my hand. Now he’s pulling out my tongue.

This dude’s seriously demented. Mom’s just watching.

I’m gonna cry…mom’s got to take me away.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa….Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

THE INFANT NUKE

Shit….moms not doing anything and this idiot’s making those funny noises again. Hey, he’s putting that black rope in his ears now. I don’t like the look of this. He’s putting it on my chest. Dude, please leave me alone.

Now he’s pressing my tummy. Hey, mom’s pulling down my pants. Shhhhhhit, he squeezed my balls. That does it, I’m going to PEE on him.

That’s it, come closer….closer….cloooooser…. Whooooooosh……Got him on the hands.

Hey, he’s laughing, mom’s laughing too, so is that white bitch on the side. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.

Now he’s talking to mom again. Hey mom, look at me…Get me outta here.

Now what’s he doing…he’s removing something from his drawer…hmmm, it’s small and shiny…I wonder??

SMALL,SHINY....DEADLY

Why is mom catching me tight with my pants down…I cant move. Mom….mom….mom….hey mom….

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH

FUCK, FUCK, FUCk, FUCK, and FUCK.

That bastard poked me with it, and it fucking hurts. I cant stop crying….

Finally, were going out….it hurting bad. Now I know why that poor kid was crying. I’m sorry btother.

Mom, you are seriously going to pay for this horror. Wait till I get bigger and you get older. Then the tables will be turned. You are going to repent…repent.

Written by Hitesh Gidwani

January 1, 2010 at 5:12 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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