Home away from Home.
College would be great if it weren’t for all the classes.
But living in the college hostel for five long years was enough to make most days surreal. I really hope any some of you’ll can relate to this.
Here’s a rough list of the stuff i think i’ve learnt.
1) Bathing is optional for many. At least you learn to save water, such a precious commodity nowadays, right. Imagine, when wars are fought over water, people will remember the brave folk of college dorms who tried to make a difference.
2) Rooms should look like a pig pen. Why waste time cleaning it up when its going to be trashed the next day by your friends as it is.
Too Clean
3) Study, but never tell others you have studied. This is very important, believe me. Otherwise you’ll be verbally raped and if it’s really your bad day, a nipple twist.
4) Weekends are wasted doing something completely pointless.
5) Talking to a drunk is pretty fun.
6) In continuation to above, there are many types of drunks i.e. the happy drunk, the sad drunk, the pitiful drunk and my personal favorite the ‘i will cry out all my deepest darkest secrets’ drunk.
7) When someone borrows from you,borrow something else form them, cause both of you will never see it again.
8 ) During examinations, coffee is the most important essential commodity. The poor indigenous hostelite on acquiring this godly weapon will use it in various traditional preparations like steamed in raw water, in aerated colas or in desperate situations, raw.
9) From your bed to class in under 5 minutes . Yes,it can be done. Now all it need’s is an Olympic event this great tradition will be immortalized.
Who cares how you look, all you have to do is go to the last bench and sleep.
10) Your vocabulary is enriched by words you never thought existed. There are more words for certain anatomical parts in various avatars than there are for our gods. I’d love to give examples. (Another post maybe)
11) Mess food is in a culinary class of its own. Such original cuisine, you never get anywhere else. We savor the mystery all the time.
12) Anything, absolutely anything edible left open in your room is as good as gone. Quoting a true story, an opened packet of chips overrun with insects was mysteriously consumed by some unknown force, probably some sick insect fetish.
13) If someones playing music loud, its your duty to play it louder.
14) Stupid mindless actions is the norm.It proves, idiocy is the essence of the male mind.
15) Birthdays are bad only if its yours. Be ready to be stripped, raped, beaten, ripped apart and in truly demented situations, toothpasted in the chaddi area. If it someone else’s,then there’s your chance to release any tension you might have.
16) Cell phones are there to make others envious.
17) People pay attention to you only when they think you’re up to something.
18) Nobody call’s you by your own name,everyone gets a nick,whether you like it or not.
Well, i can think of more if i try, but these are the best things I’ve come to know and enjoy.
My only regret is blowing the best days of my life while I’m so young.
It was really fun writing this and reminiscing.
